Today was chemistry day. No class. Just me and god, if you know what I mean.
Met with Bri at 10am to thrash through some problems. Worked alone for another hour. Spent a little while outside in a daze, drowning in the glorious Autumn, spontaneously plunked at a picnic table. I snacked on the requisite scholastic-themed pb&j and vacantly wondered if I was inadavertantly experiencing a pinic.
I was too gone to enjoy the cookie that I'd also packed, even though it had been specifically created and packed for emergency chemistry relief efforts. I'd baked them up the other night. Squirrel let me use her fabulous (great?) grandmother's cookie cutter devices. I went through each of them carefully and selected, at last, a pine tree, a dachshund, a starfish, a fat backpacker, and a disco fat backpacker.
I couldn't figure out why anyone's great grandmother should have had a fat backpacker cookie cutter but I sure fancied it. I mused out loud over its peculiarity. Squirrel, who, as they say, wears the pants in this relationship, was like, uh, dude, it's Santa Claus...
Soon I was joined by a couple of folks from the ocean cartography library something or other. I wanted to ask them what it was but was too fried. We spoke a wee bit, laughed slightly, etc. It is good to simply encounter some of the cheerful souls of Maine. But then I heard myself sinking back into silence, jaw to palm, eyes relinquishing their purpose...
I gathered up the ashes of my mind into a little urn, shoved the whole thing in my ear, and showed up for another hour of chemmeeting. This time was with Richie, so I was blundering forth under Adult Supervision. I pictured Mindy quoting the puppy from something that says, "I'm going to the vet to get tutored!"
Drifted to the homestead eventually and just kept going with the chemadnesstry until forever, or until the overthinking made even the simplest questions into unsolvable mysteries. Whichever came first.
Emailed The Pope about a question on cation/anion naming with Roman numerals. Emailed the chem msg board about another question which turned out to be pretty stupid (yes they exist). Emailed Scout about yet another, something involving molar mass, but then figured it out (maybe?). Even whined to Tim. Kept. On. Going.
Paused to sprint the dachshund but you can't sprint a dachshund unless it chooses to sprint. Yesterday, he did, today, he didn't, tomorrow, who knows?
Googled. Read the book. Watched the videos. Practiced. Was stumped. Suddenly got the right answer but felt like an accident. Went back. Tried to re-get it. Failed. Failed. Failed. Failed. Failed. Succeeded. Ate gingerbread starfish cookie. Failed. Failed...
But the homework for this class is all via a website and it won't let you turn it in until you get it right! It will offer hints but sometimes (often) even those are not quite enough to inspire a reasonable answer from a right-brained, feral bass player...
Interestingly, the struggle has not been unpleasant. This could change if I don't improve. Better to focus on the task at hand, for now, though....
And now it is almost 10pm and, finally, tomorrow's work is complete. I shall have to return to all of it in order to internalize the material. But it's a start.
....And this is just the beginning!
This morning, Squirrel and I had planned an Ocean Loop run but, having stayed up waaaay too late, I almost didn't make it out the door. I stumbled out of the D.O. in PJs, and I think I said something like, "Yo, wanna not run?" And she was like, "oh, are you sore?" or something, seeking a plausible excuse. "No," I replied, changing my mind. Ah, the power of...guilt? friends? TMR?
And while it probably would have been fine to skip it and just get a little extra sleep, but at the last minute, somehow, there we were, headed out to the Ocean.
We mused over doing a shorter loop today. Seemed like a good idea. But then we got to talking and talking and ended up on a slightly longer-than-usual route. Funny how that all works out. The beach was like a silvery-blue postcard.
Perhaps I'll write on the other side and send it along to you, my friend, where ever you are.
My mother is sick and no one is sure what's up yet.